The Spirit Behind Our Words

Ephesians 4:26, 27 NIV "In your anger do not sin". Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.

Each Sunday my wife and I gather with other couples with the purpose of strengthening our marriage and building relationships with others (we call it our community). This portion of scripture sparked some great discussion related to how we honor our spouse, and for me, it really got me thinking about why is it so important to not just guard our words, but the spirit from which our words are spoken.

I remember growing up having my parents having some pretty good "fights", not physical by any means, but verbal. As a child it impacted me, feeling like things weren't stable in the home, afraid and uncertain. I really don't recall what words were spoken, but distinctly remember how the impression it left on me... it left me with a spirit of fear, lacking peace. Even when the yelling was over, the silence continued to scream out for days and even weeks.

Our words are a powerful force. They create or manifest something that I didn't realize till now, a certain spirit that affects the atmosphere, and ulitmately in the lives of those who hear it. It's one things to speak when your angry (which doesn't mean you have to yell), and it's another to speak with a spirit of anger, which typically wants to wound and rather than lead to healing.

I'm BIG on communication. Every week I speak to hundreds of people and try to communicate the turths of scripture in a simple and applicable way that allows people experience the power of God's Word in their life. My wife and I constantly work on our communication in our home, and try to communicate to/with our kids to bring training. What I really discovered tonight goes beyond what words we say to bring understanding, but the spirit with which my words are spoken with.

The words we use to speak are received by others in accordance to the spirit that's behind it. If my spirit is angry, or speak from a wounded spirit, my words are laced with that spirit and imparts the seeds of that spirit, stirring anger or wounding the other. Likewise, if my spirit is compassionate or desires to obtain a spirit of peace, even words of correction will produce compassion and peace.

If you read further in Ephesians it says: Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption (4:30). The Holy Spirit longs to edify and build up, that's the nature of the Holy Spirit. If I allow the my spirit to come in alignment with the Holy Spirit, my words (regardless of how difficult the converstation my be) will bring about desire of the Holy Spirit. I will eitehr give the Holy Spirit (and His fruit) a foothold or the devil (and his fruit)!

So whats the characteristics or fruit of the Spirit?
Ephesians 5:9 for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness and truth.
Galatians 5:22, 23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfullness, gentleness and self-control.

I Can't just choose my words carefully... I must carefully choose the spirit in which I speak my words! Is my spirit truthfull, desiring goodness, is it loving, am I patient, being kind and gentle, faith-filled and self-controlled?